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I haven't posted an entry in about 3 and a half months...oops. I had actually forgotten about Reflections for a couple of months and then when I did remember I was so busy I just didn't have time to blog. Since I haven't thought about the blog that I started so that I would start pondering things, I obviously haven't been pondering things very well for the past 3 months. So here's to re-thinking my way of thinking :P If you see me NOT blogging for a while feel free to tell me to start thinking again! Thanks! haha

Hey all. So, I'm reading this book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It is basically about how God, the omniscient Creator of the Universe, loves us more than we can even imagine in our wildest dreams. It's all about how that sentence right there...that alone should give you chills. Did you get chills...? The problem with the church today is that most of us don't, because we can't understand how huge His love really is in our tiny human brains so we just kind of forget about it.

Have you ever gone through a week and don't really pay attention to God that much but then you realize that God's been trying to get your attention all week. I had one of those experiences on Wednesday. In my case though He's been trying for...a while. It really started clicking last week though...It was last Wednesday. I was in choir and Mrs. Bowen, our choir teacher, had given us about 15 minutes at the end of class to do whatever we needed to do. I was talking to a guy in the class named Caleb, who happens to be a preacher's kid as well. He sat down at the piano, which he can play pretty well, and a few of us were discussing how we were going to be singing at our churches that night. The conversation turned to worship songs and Caleb says, "Hey guys, do you know this one?" and starts to play the song How He Loves by John Mark McMillan, which happens to be one of my favorite songs. If you have never heard the song I would highly recommend going and listening to it as soon as possible. Just to show you the effect I'll put up my favorite verse of the song

We are His portion
And He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
That He loves us

Anyways, I and a few of the other people standing around the piano sang along with Caleb as he played. As we started singing one of the other guys in the class came over and started singing as well, followed by some more girls in the class. And by the time we got to the chorus there were about twelve students standing around the piano in the choir room of a very public high school just singing to Jesus. I've been to some pretty awesome worship services, but that was one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me. I believe that the fact that Caleb chose that particular song was no coincidence. I've been listening to that song all the time since last Wednesday.

I started the book Crazy Love a few weeks ago when my friend Bailey told me that I needed to read it and lent me her copy. I hadn't picked it up in about a week, but yesterday after I finished my Spanish test I took it out of my backpack and started reading again. The chapter that I picked back up on had a section in it called A Strange Inheritance. The sentence, well group of sentences, that grabbed my attention said this...

"The wildest part is that Jesus doesn't have to love us. His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity. He doesn't need me or you. Yet he wants us, chooses us, even considers us his inheritance (Eph. 1:18). The greatest knowledge we can ever have is knowing God treasures us. That really is amazing beyond description. The holy Creator sees you as his 'glorious inheritance'."

God reminded me of the song from last week when I read this. It says 'He is our portion and we are his prize'. God has been trying to show me this for weeks. He treasures me. And I give Him maybe a few minutes of my time every day. It really convicted me. But how great is that?? God loves you a gazillion times more than anyone on this Earth could even IMAGINE trying to love you. It's really an extremely comforting and humbling thought. How do we return His love? Not that we could ever come close to it, but He knows that. He just wants you and me to acknowledge Him. I'm going to try to do a lot better of acknowledging than I have been.

Futuristic Thinking

Being in high school, most of my life revolves around relationships. Friendships, yes, but especially guy/ girl relationships. I mean, it IS high school. But there is soo much drama that goes along with it it's not even funny. I watch my friends, girls and guys, go through so much confusion and anger and pain. I don't really think it's worth it when there's only like a 7% chance that you're going to end up with the person for the rest of your life. I haven't actually "gone out" with anyone since like 8th grade. I've pretty much decided that, unless I meet a guy that's really worth all the emotional stress and I know he's someone God would want me to spend a lot of my time with, high school relationships are completely pointless. I talk to one of my best friends, Tyler, about this kind of stuff all the time and we were talking about it a few days ago. We started talking about if high school relationships are pointless, then what about actual dating in college. And that led to thinking about spouses and the idea arose that the person we are going to marry in 10 or so years, give or take, is out there somewhere, doing SOMETHING. I asked him if he'd ever thought about it and he said all the time...which I thought was pretty cool.

Really think about that though...the man I'm gonna marry one day is probably in high school or maybe early college at this point. He's living his life one day at a time, just like me, out there somewhere. He's probably dating, or will date, someone in the near future, and then they'll break up because she isn't the girl God wants for him. I am. That really blows my mind...I don't know where he is, or what he looks like. I don't even know what his name is. I don't know when I'll meet him, but I definitely think about him all the time now. I'm going to try to start praying for him every time I think about him. I pray that if he doesn't know Jesus personally yet, that he will soon. Or if he does, that he'll stay in the Word and that he stays close to Jesus whatever he does.

Hah...I think that's one of the coolest thoughts I've had lately...

Peace...? On a Monday...?

So my parents have been making me go to this Financial Peace University class for the past 2 months. To be honest, Dave Ramsey is reaaally getting on my nerves :/ But it's probably because the past 3 weeks I have not understood a single word he has said. Plus it is always on Monday nights, which, Mondays suck anyways just because it's Monday. So on top of the fact that I'm sleep deprived and brain washed with geometry and Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, I get to go listen to some millionaire talk about things like investments and insurance. Greeeat...So as you can tell, like every other kid my age who is forced to take this class, I bicker and gripe and complain and argue and complain more about having to go, but honestly I can actually see how it is really going help me in the future. I have no money right now, therefore it doesn't help me at all at this very moment. The good thing is I will definitely not be the 19 year old at some great college wasting all of her parent's money on clothes she doesn't need and Starbucks coffee....okay, I'll probably waste it on Starbucks, but I mean come on Mocha Fraps cannot be resisted. Anyways, even though it's boring as poop most of the time, I have learned a lot about financial stuff in the class. Heck, I've probably learned even more from my parent's "discussions" about the class than from the actual class. ha...ha...The most important thing I've learned from it is to start saving early and not wait until I'm neck-high in debt and too old to care to actually change my financial habits. Since I AM starting early I won't have to worry about it. The good thing is, it will be over in 3 weeks, which means I get to start going to YoungLife and I get my own checking account in 3 weeks. So I guess this is a thanks to my dad especially for forcing me through this very very boring, but necessary financial class.

Don't Think About It....

I had the thought of starting a blog a few months ago when my mom showed me her friend's blog, but I didn't take the time to get it together. Then last weekend my friend Miss Emily showed me her blog and I decided it was time to start. The thought of having a place to post little things that happen and insignificant thoughts that I may have in my somewhat hectic and far-from-normal teenage life was...comforting, for lack of a better word.

My mom always tells me that she wants me to think about the things that I and others do, unlike she did at my age. She says that far too many people pass through just living aimless, busy lives without stopping to smell the roses that surround them, or they don't think about it so they don't miss the roses that don't appear around them. And I agree, especially in my generation. I don't want to be like today's normal teenager, or "adult" for that matter, only thinking of myself and not really caring about anything that doesn't pertain to me. I want to actually see the world around me and think about things. But not just think about things. I want to meditate on things. And there's a big difference between thinking about something and actually pondering or meditating it. You can think and not even notice it, you think while you're sleeping, that doesn't mean it's significant. I want to meditate one things. It's how people become wise. And who doesn't want to be wise?

So, as the title of my blog indicates, this is where I will post all of the unexpected, and probably some irrelevant, epiphanies that come about from my new mindset of actually thinking as I go through life.

Hope you enjoy!